Sludgy, Grey, Lazy, Happy, Beautiful DAY!

Good afternoon!

It's been a hell of a while, eh?
This weekend was the weekend of the cabins! *YAY*
So on friday, I ditched school, & Jay came down early. I took him to school with me so we could get Ashley. Ms. Judy & Mrs. Quinn met him- & my class met him- it was surreal. I felt as if I was maybe dreaming. But anyway, Jay, Ashley & I went to the cabins, checked in, & chilled for a while. Jay & I got a chance to catch up on the way to hagerstown. We had to pull over at a rest stop... ::shhhhh::
Fun fun. I love to play!
The cabins were nice. The main room had one big bed- which we gave to Ashley & Anthony. Jay & I took the smaller room with the bunkbeds & set up Jay's air matress. Ashley brought her play station & I brought my boom box- & it was heated. I loved the fireplace. It was fiberglass- but so pretty.
Friday night was a blur. Anthony & David finally arrived around 5 or so, & as soon as it got dark we migrated to the porch to start lighting up the night. Soon we tired of video games, & Jay & I went to our room to listen to music. I'm pretty sure we missed the bong hits, but we opened the door to meet Ashley's ass. man. & her friend, & then it took us a while, but we came out of the room completely for Lawanda & Casey! I was scared! I was so terrified that I was more fucked up than everyone else & that they would laugh at me. But they didn't- & then we ate tacos..
And I was wearing sweatpants... And I think my pant string was in my burrito- I was having difficulty seeing. (mental note- I get glasses on tuesday!)

Last night was beautiful. Lots of 'nuggling, a whole bunch of first times, & the best ORGASM of my whole life. I did cry.. but I was a little emotional & sexually frustrated, so I dismiss it.

Jay is amazing. The more of the man I come to know, the more reasons I list under:

Why I Love Jason:...

But the harder it is to say goodbye.. & yet somehow it's become easier.. I know he's coming back, now. Doubt is so far from my mind these days. It's a truly blissful feeling. I just need to get the rest of my affairs in order. I need outlet for all of the little monsters tearing at me. I need.. to move on. I need to get everything done that I have set up for myself- & then I need to get where I'm going, which as far as I know is just away from HERE.

Anyway, I must recuperate from my most excellent weekend...

*love*

~(~@Punkin@~)~

Everybody, Suck MY OVARIES!

Seriously, you all can. Bastards.... Bad day:

:[+^+Embalme: I've had a hell day :(
:[+^+Embalmed, I Am The Hodded Whore:[ {Eat My Toes}
has changed his/her name to :[+^+Kill Everything+^+:[
{Eat My Toes}
L'infinito: I sorry :(
L'infinito: what happened?
:[+^+Kill Ev: first- remember how I told you I was going
to wear a skirt today?
:[+^+Kill Ev: well, I did, with my black boots that I
always wear
L'infinito: yesh?
L'infinito: and?
:[+^+Kill Ev: well Ms. Quinn took me to see ms. Fischer
about my skirt length & she said that I have to wear
either all black or all white sneakers
:[+^+Kill Ev: And she said "If I let it go, imagine what
this school would look like."
:[+^+Kill Ev: Excuse me?
:[+^+Kill Ev: WTF is that supposed to mean..
:[+^+Kill Ev: ?
:[+^+Kill Everything+^+:[ {Eat My Toes} is now Online
* :[+^+Kill Everything+^+:[ {Eat My Toes} has changed
his/her name to :[+^+Kill Everything+^+:[
:[+^+Kill Ev: So.. she said I needed to find some other
shoes- that fit dress code, or she'd send me home
:[+^+Kill Ev: :@
L'infinito: wait? what the fuck kind of institution is
this?
:[+^+Kill Ev: Ashley loaned me some of hers.. I looked
like a fucking ballerina
:[+^+Kill Ev: I know, right?
:[+^+Kill Ev: anyway- THEN
L'infinito: boot? cuz of boots?
:[+^+Kill Ev: we did facials, & I did Ashley's. She went
to get up(she'd been complaining about her back all day,
mind you) & she starts freaking out 'cause she can't
breather or stand up straight.. kidney problems.
L'infinito: dress code? this isnt high school is it?
L'infinito: I never had a dress code in my schools
:[+^+Kill Ev: It's to train us to have a professional
attitude.
:[+^+Kill Ev: A nyway, Ashley calls her grandmother
L'infinito: ^o)
:[+^+Kill Ev: no answer
:[+^+Kill Ev: she calls her doctor

:[+^+Kill Ev: he says since she has no history of such
symptoms that she should go to the ER immediately
:[+^+Kill Ev: no one else would take her.
:[+^+Kill Ev: So I did..
L'infinito: and...this was during school
L'infinito: right?
:[+^+Kill Ev: We waited in the reception area for about
a half hour before they checked her out & let her
register
:[+^+Kill Ev: yes
:[+^+Kill Ev: Well, they call her gram because she's
underage
:[+^+Kill Ev: gram isn't legal gaurdian
:[+^+Kill Ev: so they call her mom's house
:[+^+Kill Ev: she's at work
:[+^+Kill Ev: they call her work
:[+^+Kill Ev: she's on break
:[+^+Kill Ev: The fucking assholes at her work would not
give out her cell phone
:[+^+Kill Ev: They didn't believe it was an emergency.
:[+^+Kill Ev: So they said they'd take her anyway- she
was freaking me out- crying, hyperventilating
L'infinito: shes in the ER, thats not an emergency?
:[+^+Kill Ev: yeah, that's what I said
:[+^+Kill Ev: anyway, so they take her back & she sits
there is pain, gasping for breath for an hour or two
L'infinito: I gotta go dear
:[+^+Kill Ev: her mom comes in
L'infinito: Im sorry
:[+^+Kill Ev: she HATES her mom..
:[+^+Kill Ev: I stayed with her until her bf came, &
then I had to go back to the school to drop her car off
:[+^+Kill Ev: I was parked in
:[+^+Kill Ev: anyway, I stayed for a while
:[+^+Kill Ev: I left around 4ish
:[+^+Kill Ev: I pull out to turn out of the alley, &
some lady comes out the opposite way
:[+^+Kill Ev: & I assumed I had the right of way
:[+^+Kill Ev: tsome guy let us go, she pulled out first
:[+^+Kill Ev: HAD she let me go, she could have
prevented a lot of stress
:[+^+Kill Ev: because after she pulled out, she went all
the way up to the light & then put her car in reverse
:[+^+Kill Ev: as if I was going to back up
L'infinito: in reverse?
L'infinito: why?
:[+^+Kill Ev: which I did, a little, & so did the guy
behind me
:[+^+Kill Ev: she was parking
:[+^+Kill Ev: anyway
:[+^+Kill Ev: I moved back as far as I could
:[+^+Kill Ev: she's cussing at me, looking all pissed
:[+^+Kill Ev: two people come out of the house she's
trying to park in front of
:[+^+Kill Ev: one gets in the car
L'infinito: Its 5 oclock
L'infinito: I gotta go
:[+^+Kill Ev: the other, an old, mongaloid looking
fucker comes around to my window & screams at me "SHE
WAS TRYING TO PARK!"

Anyway- I leave you now.

*dissipates*

Bah, Foiled again.

Hi, I'm Jenna & I Don't WATCH tv.. You wanna know why?
Oh, because I'll get sucked into certain things & will be up all night when I need to be asleep rather early so that I can get up for school.

It snowed like a bitch, lastnight, but was school cancelled? Oh no.. I think Washington & Frederick County were both embarassed that they called off so early yesterday, that they felt it neccisary to make themselves look like badasses today & let us off with a two hour delay.

Well, I figured that I'll be damned if I'm going over that mountain on the way to hag's town with the way people drive & the way there's always huge ice patches when the weather is inclement... so after I talked to Jay last night, I went out to smoke my last stoge of the day, & on my way back in, & saw that my mom, Joey & Sabbi were watching the Matrix.. Had I done like them & only watched the first movie, I would not be typing this right now.. But I didn't.. It was commercial free.. no grace period to think clearly or lose interest.. So I watched Reloaded & Revolutions, also. Which I was glad I did, 'cause they were all really good, & I had only seen Matrix. But when I finally woke up about a half of an hour ago, I called the closings number & we definitly had a two hour delay.. And then Ashley F. called me from Dustin's phone to ask me where the hell I was & if I wanted a luxury cabin & if I could pay the park by friday.. I said "bitch I was sleeping.. yes I want a luxury cabin, & I get paid on friday, but if I get Jay's check before then, it will be permissable to borrow it from my mom a day early." 'Cept I didn't really call her a bitch.. that would have been funny, but I was too tired & blah at the time to think humorously..

Anyway, I have work at 5. I work with Emily, who I definitly don't think I like.. Why's everyone there so mean & snobby!? The only one who really talks to me is Rachel, & a few of the stylists who think I'm "cute?" Whatever.

Dustin cut my hair.. I was a little bummed last night, because it's pretty short.. but I looked at it when I woke up this morining, & it's not so bad. My mom let her gaurd down & told me it drew attention to my pretty lips.. That was nice... She hasn't said such things in a while. She's too busy trying to save my life, usually. I don't know how telling me I'm fat, ugly & lazy is saving me. 'specially when I could be fatter, I could DEFINITLY be uglier, & if I was so lazy I would have lost my job already, & I'd never go to school- not just that but I wouldn't take such articulate care of myself.. I just don't excercise incessantly the way she does, & I struggle with food. Because sometimes I cannot stop eating & sometimes I can't eat at all.. or I forget to eat, which is ruining my metabolism.. not that I had much of one to begin with.

Anyway, I'm off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz..

-Punkin

More snow..

Absolutely BEAUTIFUL.. I hate snow.
School was cancelled at 6am this morning, when it had not even snowed yet- but I guess if you wanted to find reasons, the sky did tell all. And it definitly is snowing now. And the sky is still an ugly mess of bruised clouds & ice tears.

I was pleased that school was cancelled this morning.. I stayed up pretty late last night.

Chris called me to tell me about his shitty day... Then Jay called & I talked to him for a little while.. god, I miss him so much.. March 11th cannot come soon enough.. Everytime I hear his voice I wish I could see him, touch him.. even when I just think about him.

Tree & Josh are pretty psyched about the cabins. They're such an adorable couple.. Always making out... which can get a little annoying. But, what can I say? I was like that once... A LONG time ago. It's fun when you're that into someone- or someone is that into you. But it's extreemely annoying to everyone around you, & eventually it will get annoying to one of you as well.

Anyway, I guess I shall go dance.

+*+Eternal Love+*+

>>+^+The Punkin Queen+^+<<

jams: Acid Bath- "Grave Flower"
mood: TIRED

Wrote Today

Ache

I've gotten so used to accepting lonliness..
Gentle reminders keep me captured.
At times I ache for these little nothings..
The gestures that cause me rapture.

My bruised wings, I doctor them,
They heal & yearn for more abuse.
And could I know more satisfaction
If I had less a heart to use?

I come home & wash away
The evidence of heart decay,
Crawl into my cold, empty bed,
Hours pass, & I am dead.

I ache for you.
Your voice subdues, but is at fault.
I want for you.
Please satisfy & bring it to a hault.

Someday loneliness is just a memory,
A medicated, mended fracture.
At times ache will return...
And will be met by desired rapture.

My wings have served their purpose,
And I've put them to their use,
And since have been discarded,
Letting no room for such abuse.

I come home & wash away,
The residue of annother day,
Crawl into your waiting arms,
And know that I am lost to harm.

When I Forget

Sometimes I lose myself in everything I must remember,
Then I'll find myself rushing away,
Collected with the rain flushing down the city streets,
Reflected in bright lights, a puddle, do I really look this way?

And I pick myself up, sift throught the dirt & clutter,
Dry myself out from the gutters,
And I make time for me.

When I lose myself like this, I just may
Set myself back a day,
And I look & see.

Sometimes, I forget myself in all I must do,
And I'll find myself tumbling in the wind.
I flutter by like a butterfly,
Chasing after, "Where have you been, my friend?"

And I follow me into gentle trouble,
Indulging in a laughter, subtle-
That which is my own.

When I forget, it may take time to remember,
Like days in December;
A short way towards home.

Snowed In

The first pay check for JCP salon spa, waits for me past the icy wonderland that is 85. I really don't want to go to the mall. I fricken hate that place.. But I need gas & ciggarettes & I have a few bills to pay & I need to put money towards the cabins.. blah.

Theresa was supposed to call me yesterday or today. No dice. So I'm stuck here debating the quest to JCP & sleep, bored out of my mind.. & Jay is busy & won't answer my IMs. Poor baby.

All I want to do is sleep.. I slept 16 hours the night before last, & about 11 last night. But I cannot sleep. The Sabbath Beast has arisen, & I must watch her, so that she does not leave the house in shambles. But I think I shall venture out to the mall today.. it'll be fun.. I'll dress up all crazy & keep all my peircings in so that I get to look upon the confused look on Barb's face when I waltz in to pick up my check. Wouldn't they be confused if I wore a skirt? I just may..

Good day, mortals!

>>The Punkin Queen<

Filthy

So I toyed with the options & this is what came out.. I might go back & redo it all again later so it's not so.. plain.. it kind of looks like a big purple blob.. but I like.. I like.

hmmn.. well, I suppose this is as far as I'll get today.

Now, we dance.

Fare Thee Well, Mortals...

+^+The Punkin Queen+^+

Check It OUT!

Salutations, mortals.
So, today I was looking for this song- they play it on the radio all the time- my little sister loves it! She runs around the house singing it, & I was trying to find it on lime wire.. all I know is that the chorus goes like "when I open my eyes.." yeah, that's all I know... & I put that into limewire & two songs came up- some gospel song & some gay ass club mix song... The one I'm thinking of is like... I dunno, I thought it was Creed for the longest time.. but it's obviously not. Because they're boken up, & this is a relatively NEW song.. chyeah..

Erm.. anyway, that's how I found this place. Some totally random page popped up with some more lyrics that started with "when I open my eyes" that wasn't it.. I won't talk about the page... it was kind of sad..

But I was like "HEY! I need a new thingy.. 'cause I'm with dj & I'm always looking to relpace it.

So anyway, I'm going to post this... mess with my options & template & then I'll post again to say how I like it.. yep..

Pax Secorum (Peace Be With you.. mortal.)

>>+^+Punkin+^+<<